How to Determine if the One You Love Loves You


If you love someone, but you’re unsure whether they feel the same way, it can tear you up inside. Every day, your doubt grows, and if it does not, it seesaws back and forth. Because love is different for every couple, there is no owner’s manual that you can check to figure out if the person you love loves you back. However, there are some signs that come up for many people who love each other. If you want to solve the mystery of love, look no further.



  1. Determine if the One You Love Loves You Step 1.jpg

    Make eye contact with the other person. How does the other person respond? They might:

    • Look back longingly into your eyes, refusing to let go of your eyes. Definitely a good sign. He/She loves you hopelessly.
    • Avert eyes quickly, blushing or suddenly sweating. This is another good sign. He/She is at least interested in you, but doesn’t want you to know.
    • Look at you quickly, seemingly uninterested, and then look at you as if you are someone’s little sister/brother. A bad sign. He/She probably doesn’t think of you in the way you think of her/him.
    • Not look at you at all. This is a tough sign to read. It could mean she doesn’t notice you; it could mean he or she’s good at keeping things under wraps.
  2. Make a joke and see how they respond. Humans talk a lot, but often our body language says a lot more about us than our words do. We smile and laugh for people we like; we scowl and stay silent for people we don’t. Try making a joke. It doesn’t have to be a very good joke, even. How does the person respond? Do they:

    • Laugh at a bad joke because they can’t help smiling around you? That’s a good sign. You can do no wrong in his/her eyes.
    • Politely force out a laugh but look uncomfortable? This is a tough one to read. They may be uncomfortable because they like you, or they may be uncomfortable because they’re decent and they don’t want you to feel bad.
    • Not laugh at all and look at you coldly. That’s a bad sign. She or he isn’t interested in you enough to try at a social gathering.
  3. Smile and see how they respond. A lot like joking around, smiling at someone will usually produce a response. If the person likes you, they are certain to smile back. If the person doesn’t like you, they’re more likely to not smile back. Consider these things when “reading into” a smile:

    • A person could simply be caught off guard by your smile. They would love to smile back at you, but yours was so unexpected that they didn’t know how to react.
    • A person may choose not to smile even if they like you. Pretty much, they are convinced that you don’t like them, and so they don’t want to show you their feelings because they don’t want to deal with the rejection.
  4. Determine if the One You Love Loves You Step 2.jpg

    Go up and talk to him or her. See if she/he fidgets around, which a sign of nervousness. Other signs of nervousness could include:

    • Guys:
      • Stammering his words, saying “uhh” repeatedly.
      • Visibly sweating or perspiring from the face, neck, or armpits.
      • Showing off in front of his friends.
    • Girls:
      • Playing with her hair: twirling, braiding, etc.
      • Blushing.
      • Giggling.
      • Not saying very much but still staying in the conversation.
  5. Test the person you love. You can test the person you love in various ways, but perhaps the most effective test is the jealousy test. Mention another guy or girl in a casual way. (“Stacy looked really good today. Her hair is a lot better curly than it is straight.”) If the person you love stiffens up, goes white, disagrees, or badmouths the person you talked about, it most likely means they are jealous.

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    Go out with a group of friends and including him or her. If this person stays close to you throughout the night, and talks with you a lot, this is probably a sign they’re interested.

  7. Approach the person when they least expect it. Sit down the person during lunch. Call the person out of the blue. Track them down between classes. Catch them when they don’t expect you to be there and see how they react.

    • Do they seem happy to see you, flustered, awkward, disheveled, or tense? These are all good signs. There’s a spark, it seems.
    • Do they seem uninterested, condescending, not bothered, or too busy to acknowledge you? There are all bad signs. S/he may be having a bad day, but chances are s/he doesn’t like you.
  8. Determine if the One You Love Loves You Step 3.jpg

    Dance with the other person if possible. Ask him/her to slow dance with you; if they say “yes,” that’s a good sign. If, the rest of the time you’re dancing, s/he looks away from you, talks to another person, or can’t wait to dance with someone else, then they probably aren’t interested.

  9. Look at your own reactions to him/her. Look inside yourself. Often, the answer to the question “does s/he love me?” lies inside of you. Ask yourself how you feel after talking with the person. Do you:

    • Feel exhilarated, good about yourself, and powerful after talking to your love? All that good will probably means there’s something between you. Try to explore it!
    • Feel embarrassed, lifeless, or sad after talking to your love? Although it could just be a case of the blues (are you normally so hard on yourself?) there’s a good chance s/he doesn’t like you in the way that you had hoped. The good news is there are plenty of fish in the sea.
  10. When in doubt, ask. If all else fails, and you need to know the other person’s feelings, you may have to come right out and ask. Be prepared for the worst but expect the best. Remember, too, that the only way to know if someone loves you is if they accept you for who you are. Nothing more and nothing less. No one is perfect but true love accepts imperfections with perfections.

    • Go up to the person and say: “Sorry if this is a little out of the blue. I can’t help wondering if there’s something, some spark, between us. Because I like you. And if you like me back, I think we should take a shot at it.”
    • Or maybe go for something a little less bold: “Hey, this is kind of random, but do you think there’s something between us? I think I like you. Actually, I don’t think, I know.”
    • Or try something a little more coy and ask them out on a date. Remember that you don’t have to call it a date if you don’t want; the other person probably understands that it’s a date: “Hey, so my friend flaked on me for a movie this weekend and I have an extra ticket. Would you want to go with me?”




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