Headed for a rebound?


In love with someone almost immediately after falling out with your ex? Here’s what you need to keep in mind… 

As much as you’d like to believe it, a rebound relationship isn’t the best way forward, after a breakup. In fact, relationship counsellors say it’s a sign of weakness and shows that you cannot deal with pain and accept reality.

Says psychiatrist Veena Chakraborty, “Craving for love and support right after a breakup is what makes one vulnerable to look out for love again. Though there is nothing wrong in falling in love once more, not giving yourself enough time to move over your previous relationship and hurrying into another one may eventually become a habit and cause problems in the long run.”

You just want to be in a relationship: This happens a couple of weeks after you break up. You just feel like being with someone, more than wanting to fall in love with the person. Your mind subconsciously wants to be involved with that person and spend time with him or her.

You crave attention: Have your friends ever told you that you are trying too hard to catch the attention of a charming guy at a party? Says relationship counsellor Mimrah Ansari, “Right after a breakup, it’s natural to long for some attention. This could be because you are missing your boyfriend/girlfriend or just want to feel good by being noticed by someone.”

You are still not over your ex: Do you attend common get-togethers so that you can bump into your ex? Do you feel like texting or calling to find out how he or she is doing? If that’s how you feel, then you are surely not over him or her yet.

You don’t feel like going with the flow: When you don’t have the patience to wait and give yourself enough time to move from one relationship and get into another one, be sure you are headed for a rebound one.

Don’t rush in: “I dated this guy for four years and broke up with him one fine day. I found myself breaking down every now and then. A couple of days later, I met someone at a party and we hit it off instantly. Eventually, I finally got into a relationship with him. And though we were together, I was still not over my ex. This led to a series of problems between the two of us and caused further distress. That’s when I realised that I should have actually taken time off before I jumped into another relationship,” says an anguished Abirupa Chatterjee.

Go for a holiday: A holiday may benefit you in more ways than one. It’s a stress-buster and also helps you to think and give yourself enough time to deal with your break up. However, you don’t always have to go out with friends and family. If you want to spend some time with yourself, go on a holiday alone.

According to several studies, a rebound relationship may not be bad for you at all. It helps fill the void in your life, making way for someone new to step in. However, you still need to be careful if you’ve gone in for a rebound relationship. You should be sure you are actually are ready for a new relationship and are completely over the previous one.


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